YES WE CAN!!!

When we found out we were expecting twins, I immediately knew I needed to do a ton of research. So, after running to the book store and purchasing several books on twins and searching the internet for hours upon hours for information, I joined a Parents of Multiples group. I attended a “new moms coffee” and flooded the moms with questions. I had a playgroup with another pregnant mom who had a toddler the same age as Mason, and we shared twin pregnancy stories. I checked their online forums daily for information that could help my husband and I cope and plan.

However, by far, the best part of joining that group was when we all attended the Multiples Picnic once the babies arrived. To say that the kids outnumbered the adults is putting it mildly. We arrived with our three kids in tow. Others showed up with twins, triplets, and quads. Some of them had singletons in their families like us. So, there were kids EVERYWHERE.

I have to say that my husband I looked at these families and were somewhat put at ease. After all, if they can do it, so can we! We are not the first (and certainly won’t be the last) couple to have a set of twins! So, we blew it off that we were late. We blew it off that Mason’s shirt was dirty within seconds of being there. We blew it off that we took the wrong stroller for the occasion (you twin moms know what I’m talking about). We blew it off that Mason threw a temper tantrum about the bounce house. After all, we weren’t being judged. We were in “like” company. And, if we were overwhelmed for even a moment, we could always look at the picnic blanket across from us and see the parents with their triplets or quads. Heck, it could be worse, right?

A big shout out to NVPOM: Northern Virginia Parents of Multiples! You rock!

ONE versus TWO: The twin factor or normal?

Around 3 am my mind started to wander as I was perched between my twins on the floor feeding them. I thought about what a different mom I was to my son, a singleton. Often, these kinds of thoughts flood me with guilt. Yet, sometimes I just wonder if it really has anything to do with the twin factor – or if it is just the way it is with all second or third children.

* As a mom to a singleton I nursed until he was 11 months old. As a mom to twins, I nursed for 2 months.

* As a mom to a singleton, I made all my own baby food. As a mom to twins, I plan to buy the jars in bulk.

* As a mom to a singleton, I researched all the best brands and purchased them regardless of price. As a mom to twins, I gladly accept any brand as long as it is cheap or free.

* As a mom to a singleton, I read to my son for hours each day. As a mom to twins, I beg my son to read to them.

* As a mom to a singleton, I dressed him in cute outfits daily. As a mom to twins, they sometimes never make it out of their jammies (and sometimes I don’t either).

* As a mom to a singleton, I gave nightly baths and massages. As a mom to twins, we bathe about every other day and at whatever time we can squeeze it in.

* As a mom to a singleton, my son took his regularly scheduled naps in his crib each and every day. As a mom to twins, the girls nap on the road whenever they can and where-ever we are at the time.

* As a mom to a singleton, I uploaded photos on a weekly basis. As a mom to twins, they get uploaded monthly.

* As a mom to a singleton, we used only the name brands for formula, diapers, etc. As a mom to twins, we go generic whenever we can.

* As a mom to a singleton, I wore heels. As a mom to twins, I wear flats.

* As a mom to a singleton, my house still had some proof that adults live here. As a mom to twins, our home looks like a toys ‘r us or babies ‘r us exploded.

Many of you can relate even if you don’t have twins. Maybe I was just a little crazy when it came to my first. Perhaps having twins is what has made me sane.

I'm Sorry

A parent of twins that I met a few months ago told me, “Having twins means never having to say, I’m sorry.” I love that! Because if I was expected to do so, I think those words would be coming out of my mouth every 10 minutes. So, find your apology below – some or all may apply.

I’m sorry…

1. I’m sorry for forgetting your birthday, anniversary, NAME, etc. With my days and nights blending into one, I have absolutely no idea what day of the week it is. As for your name, I have no excuse other than complete and total exhaustion!

2. I’m sorry for not returning your phone call. I probably just forgot that you called to begin with.

3. I’m sorry for not emailing back. I probably read your email at 3am during one of the feedings and thought I’d remember to respond in the morning, and then forgot.

4. I’m sorry for being late. I was going to be on time, but then one of the babies spit up all over and I had to change her, then the other had a blow out, then my son threw a temper tantrum, and then, and then, and then…...

5. I’m sorry that my house is a mess. It was actually clean 10 minutes BEFORE everyone woke up. However, once they are awake, all hell breaks loose.

6. I’m sorry I look like such a mess. I could blame it on the lack of sleep, the baby that just puked all down my shirt and in my hair, the fact that someone in our house was crying so hard that I only had 2 minutes in the shower, or any number of reasons. However, just please tell me I look great so that I feel better.

7. I’m sorry that you didn’t get a thank you card yet. I probably wrote one or started to write one. It is somewhere in my house on some pile. The stamps are also somewhere in the house. Not sure where right now, but I know that the cards and the stamps are not in the same place. Hmmm…. What is your name again? (see #1)

8. I’m sorry we are having spaghetti for the fourth night in a row. To be honest, you are lucky that I’m even boiling noodles. The thought of cooking doesn’t exhaust me as much as cleaning the kitchen after. I hate creating more work for myself. So, eat your pasta and like it, darn it!

9. “I’m sorry, what was I saying?” I can’t seem to complete a thought or a sentence. I blame it on baby brain and/or lack of

10. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve forgotten to mention here. I feel that I’ve been a bad mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, etc. to all of you. I blame it on “baby brain”, but I plan to use this as an excuse for at least the next year. It might be longer. I’ll get back to you about that… if I remember. If not, I'm sorry....

Multiple Must-Haves

A woman I met through a "parents of multiples" group asked me what items were most helpful when you have twins. So, I have been creating a MULTIPLES MUST-HAVE list. Although, very few items are directly geared towards multiples. They are just regular baby items that I could not live without - especially having twins. As the girls get older and I learn more about what they use, I will add to the list. In the meantime, feel free to comment about what baby items were most important to YOU. After all, every baby is different. One baby may scream bloody murder when placed in a swing, while another cannot sleep without it rocking!

One thing is for certain: you do NOT need two of everything! It is a waste of money and space! One of most items is a great way to start until you find out what your babies like. I rotate my babies in and out of things (I liken it to learning stations or centers - for all my teacher friends). Some things I found that I absolutely NEEDED to double-up on:

1. PAPASAN (or bouncy) CHAIRS allow me to feed both babies at the same time, allowing me more time.
2. BOPPY LOUNGERS - not to be mistaken for the regular boppy used for nursing. These loungers are more like a big pillow. My little ones lived in these for the first couple of months. I must give a shout out to my friend, Ashlee, who introduced this to me when I was pregnant with my son. I now get these for almost everyone as a shower gift. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with twins, I borrowed another. I LOVE THEM!
3. PACK 'N PLAYS - If you live in a home with multiple floors, it would be nice to have one on each floor. However, eventually you will need two anyway because they will be too big to fit into one if you ever want to be able to travel overnight. Our girls slept in them for the first few months before transitioning to a crib.

You can find the list on the main page on the side. Just scroll down... I'll add to it bit by bit.

Do I have COOTIES now?

I am extremely confused by people and hope you can help me make some sense out of this.  During both of my pregnancies, I was always so amazed at how perfect strangers would offer to help me.  They held doors, let me go ahead in line, grabbed by grocery bags, and offered to help me every step I took.  I was PREGNANT, not incapable.  In fact, during my first pregnancy with my son, I felt incredible and had a great deal of energy.  Now, before you criticize me for being ungrateful, let me stress that I was always very touched by this outreach. 

What confuses me is that when I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself, these people offered to do everything for me.  Yet, when I am trying to get into the doors of a local store with a car seat in each hand and a diaper bag the size of a medium suitcase over my shoulder, people are letting the door slam in my face. When I'm carrying two packages out of the post office with a toddler crying beside me and those same two carseats, no one offers to get the door or carry the package.  In fact, instead they shoot me dirty glances because of the crying toddler.  When I'm in line for a table at Panera with my tray of food, a toddler, a double stroller, and that monstrous diaper bag, a lady dressed in a fancy suit cuts in front of me and beats me to the only available table.  Obviously, she was much more important than me and couldn't have realized my very small window of time to eat without all three kids going nuts. 

WHAT?!!?!?!  

Why did I get smiles and sweet looks when I was pregnant - yet looks of annoyance once those babies were actually born? 

Why am I cute and vulnerable when I'm pregnant, but I seem to have cooties once I have kids?  

I joined the blogger band-wagon!

Ok...OK... I know I have no extra time.  I'm busy, busy, busy!  However, I needed something that was JUST MINE!  So, I decided to join the world of blogging for two reasons:  1.)  To give me that one little thing that is only mine.  2.)  Cheap therapy.

Here is the deal, though.  If you actually want to read my blog, you must realize that the majority of my posts will be done after only a couple of hours of shut eye, a full day with three kids under the age of 3, and not nearly enough coffee to handle it all.  So, please don't judge me for misspellings, poor grammar, and especially for the content.  I plan to write what I think and hope to not be judged too poorly.  I hope to not write anything that my kids will hate me for when they grow up, my husband will want to divorce me for one day, my family and friends will want to disown me for down the road, and perfect strangers won't want to strangle me if they meet me.  Hmmm.... this blogging thing might be tough.  :)