It is November… the month of Thanksgiving!!! I’ve been a bit emotional lately. I can’t help but think about this time last year….
This time last year we realized that things weren’t going so well with our pregnancy. This time last year, we thought that there was a very good possibility that Sophia was not going to make it. We also thought that we were going to have to deliver Claire much, much too early in order to give her a chance at survival – which also put Claire’s life at risk. This time last year I was not allowed to pick up my son, play with him on the floor, take him for walks, watch him go trick-or-treating, or even be up off the couch for more than 30 minutes each day. This time last year was SO VERY DIFFERENT. This year I am running around after THREE, healthy, happy, beautiful children. This year, I am throwing a football and kicking a soccer ball around with Mason and running a 10-mile race with my husband. I am carrying Sophia and Claire up and down the steps several times a day and rolling around on the floor after them as they crawl. I bought 3 Halloween costumes for my 3 children who I took trick-or-treating myself. This year, my tears are tears of happiness, not of worry and anguish. This year, I am thankful for so much. I am thankful for the gift of my children.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Old Jennifer vs. New Jennifer
Sometimes I realize just how much having children - and especially twins – has changed me. A huge example of this occurred the other night. With my husband out of town, juggling work and home life can be a little overwhelming. After all, a simple trip to the grocery store for milk isn’t so simple with a toddler and two babies. So, when a co-worker and friend saw me in the morning and said she could come over that evening to help with dinner and bedtime – I happily accepted her offer. The rest of the day, I was left to battle with my own personality – the old Jennifer and the new Jennifer (overwhelmed, overworked mom of three kids under 3).
The Old Jennifer would have had the entire situation under control, and Andrew being out of town would not have stressed her out at all.
The New Jennifer is comfortable being uncomfortable, and is terrified when Andrew says that a trip is on the horizon.
The Old Jennifer would not have accepted help, and seen the idea of needing it as a sign of weakness.
The New Jennifer gladly accepts help, asks for help, and sees it as a sign of being normal.
The Old Jennifer would have been mortified if someone would have given last minute notice of coming over. She would have needed the house to be perfectly in order and have a wonderful meal prepared for her guests.
The New Jennifer says, “Don’t mind the mess”, “Just step over that”, and “Just push that off to the side.” She realizes that the house will never be in order and that my guests are fine with pizza being delivered.
The Old Jennifer would not have wanted guests over during the worst part of the day with the kids – night time – the Witching Hours. She would not have wanted them to have to see or deal with cranky kids.
The New Jennifer is happy for the extra help during the Witching Hours and has accepted that if you offer to help – you know what you are in for.
THANK YOU to those of you who have helped me with this transformation. I appreciate you not making me feel guilty for the messy house, the take out dinners, the “deer in the headlights” looks, and the cranky kids. I appreciate you realizing that this does not make me a bad person – and for helping me to realize that about myself, as well.
The Old Jennifer would have had the entire situation under control, and Andrew being out of town would not have stressed her out at all.
The New Jennifer is comfortable being uncomfortable, and is terrified when Andrew says that a trip is on the horizon.
The Old Jennifer would not have accepted help, and seen the idea of needing it as a sign of weakness.
The New Jennifer gladly accepts help, asks for help, and sees it as a sign of being normal.
The Old Jennifer would have been mortified if someone would have given last minute notice of coming over. She would have needed the house to be perfectly in order and have a wonderful meal prepared for her guests.
The New Jennifer says, “Don’t mind the mess”, “Just step over that”, and “Just push that off to the side.” She realizes that the house will never be in order and that my guests are fine with pizza being delivered.
The Old Jennifer would not have wanted guests over during the worst part of the day with the kids – night time – the Witching Hours. She would not have wanted them to have to see or deal with cranky kids.
The New Jennifer is happy for the extra help during the Witching Hours and has accepted that if you offer to help – you know what you are in for.
THANK YOU to those of you who have helped me with this transformation. I appreciate you not making me feel guilty for the messy house, the take out dinners, the “deer in the headlights” looks, and the cranky kids. I appreciate you realizing that this does not make me a bad person – and for helping me to realize that about myself, as well.
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