Sometimes I realize just how much having children - and especially twins – has changed me. A huge example of this occurred the other night. With my husband out of town, juggling work and home life can be a little overwhelming. After all, a simple trip to the grocery store for milk isn’t so simple with a toddler and two babies. So, when a co-worker and friend saw me in the morning and said she could come over that evening to help with dinner and bedtime – I happily accepted her offer. The rest of the day, I was left to battle with my own personality – the old Jennifer and the new Jennifer (overwhelmed, overworked mom of three kids under 3).
The Old Jennifer would have had the entire situation under control, and Andrew being out of town would not have stressed her out at all.
The New Jennifer is comfortable being uncomfortable, and is terrified when Andrew says that a trip is on the horizon.
The Old Jennifer would not have accepted help, and seen the idea of needing it as a sign of weakness.
The New Jennifer gladly accepts help, asks for help, and sees it as a sign of being normal.
The Old Jennifer would have been mortified if someone would have given last minute notice of coming over. She would have needed the house to be perfectly in order and have a wonderful meal prepared for her guests.
The New Jennifer says, “Don’t mind the mess”, “Just step over that”, and “Just push that off to the side.” She realizes that the house will never be in order and that my guests are fine with pizza being delivered.
The Old Jennifer would not have wanted guests over during the worst part of the day with the kids – night time – the Witching Hours. She would not have wanted them to have to see or deal with cranky kids.
The New Jennifer is happy for the extra help during the Witching Hours and has accepted that if you offer to help – you know what you are in for.
THANK YOU to those of you who have helped me with this transformation. I appreciate you not making me feel guilty for the messy house, the take out dinners, the “deer in the headlights” looks, and the cranky kids. I appreciate you realizing that this does not make me a bad person – and for helping me to realize that about myself, as well.
Jennifer - thanks for your honesty. This is real life. I was married for 20 years before Cody was born and also used to having everything under control. It quickly disappears and what emerges is a person who fits in with 99% of the population. Granted, there are a few women out there that still have everything under control but really miss the "fun" of having your gal pals being there for love and support. And, you now can be more compassionate and supportive of your friends. Welcome and enjoy. Louise
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