Being a parent sometimes means not always having the ability to pee, and it definitely means not peeing alone. With a two year old and two infants, the door to my bathroom is never closed. I have absolutely NO privacy at all. I actually have this fear that when I go back to work, I will forget to close the bathroom door and someone will walk right in on me.
Today, one of the girls was having a really rough day – the kind of day when you realize that you can’t put her down for even a second without her screaming bloody murder. So, I was holding her little sleeping body in my arms and I realized I have to PEE. If I put her down to go, then she will cry so hard and wake up the other two kids that are finally sleeping soundly. So, I sit, and I hold it. I hold it until my eyes begin to water, I start to sweat, and I’m pushing my feet up against the couch to steady myself. I try to think of something else, but the only other thing I can think about is that now I also need to cough. My throat starts to itch even more and my bladder is about to burst. The baby moves ever so slightly – just enough to jab her knee into my bladder – and I honestly think that I could end up having an accident right here. For a split second I consider how I can carry her to the bathroom and still go with her in my arms, but I quickly dismiss the thought. My mind wanders to the crazy astronaut lady that drove across country to kill someone and never stopped to use the bathroom by using depends. I glance down at the pile of diapers and for a split second consider my options there – no good.
I decide to pass the time by thinking about the other moments in time when I’m not able to pee because I’m a mom.
• ROAD TRIPS: Road trips pose several obstacles for being able to pee. The first one that comes to mind is that I am destined to have to go to the bathroom the very second that the kids are asleep in the car. We will be driving for hours with them screaming and crying, and I will be fine. The moment that they zonk out – I have to go! I can’t possibly pull over for fear that they will wake up and the crying will continue for the rest of the trip.
• STORES AND RESTAURANTS or OTHER PUBLIC RESTROOMS: Back when I had only one child, this was not as much of an issue. I was able to take my son into the restroom with me. However, now that I have three children, it seems that it is impossible. Often, the double stroller for the girls doesn’t even fit into the restroom. Once, at a Wendy’s, I felt very much at home – because I pushed the stroller in but couldn’t close the door to the bathroom. UGH!
• PARKS WITH PORTA-POTS: We love to be outside. And, we live in a great area where we can take in a lot of attractions. D.C. has so much to offer. However, at a lot of these locations, only a porta-pot is available. This is fine if I go to these places with my husband or another adult. They stay with the kids, and I brave the awful smelling stall by holding my breath and then bathing in antibacterial gel after. Yet, what do you do when you go solo with the three kids? Leave them parked outside and hope someone doesn’t steal them? Or – go in and leave the door open (again, just like home) and risk getting fined for indecent exposure. ;)
• AIRPLANES: The bathrooms on airplanes are barely large enough for ME to fit in. What do you do when you have several kids? Everyone I talk to about this tells me to ask the flight attendants to help. Sure, maybe with one child. But, with several children? – YIKES! This actually seems so daunting, that I refuse to even try it yet.
As I continue to think about all of this, I decide to brave it and put her down. Yes, she screams. Yes, she wakes her sister. UGH! So I realize that it could be years before I get to pee. And, when that day happens, I most likely will not do it alone.
Jennifer, you are too much! I love this. I will have to come back to your other blogs later and I am sure you understand why (toddler twins and a baby). Next time, just go for it. I cannot tell you how many times I have found myself in a similar situation with a temperamental baby Abby in my arms and the twins practically stepping on my heels from following me so closely. I just take her in, use one hand to get my pants down while holding her quietly in the other. Then I sit and go. It is definitely an exercise in stealth and using muscles you didn't know you had...all while the twins watch from the doorway...oh, yeah-the dog also always watches. But don't flush the toilet right away because it might wake the baby.
ReplyDeleteHang in there girl. Your sense of humor is such a strength and I just know you are a wonderful mommy.
I totally pee while holding Isabella- is that not normal?
ReplyDeleteI remember the first time I sat on the toilet, holding a crying baby (he was probably several months old) and wondering what I was in for. Well, fast forward several years. We had moved back to PA and were living with my mom while looking for a home. Every time I closed the bathroom door, Cody's little fingers would come under it and he would cry and cry...like I had abandoned him to who knows where? Across the street was chiropractor. One day I walked in and the ladies looked at me and informed me I didn't have an appointment. I told them I knew that and just had to use the bathroom. Of course, they looked at each other quizzically. When I was through, I came back and explained that I just needed to be able to go without little fingers coming under the door and hearing the crying. The loved it! They laughed and laughed and 17 years later - when they see me, they still mention it. Louise.
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